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Fat chance there is an imbalance (M/F)

In our retreats, we have seen many participants pass through. Sweet people who have lost sight of themselves and their road a bit. Which road then?

So tired

Many are especially tired when they come to us. Mentally tired. Tired in a society and environment that has exhausted them. Tired of trying to meet expectations they think their environment has of them. Tired of trying to fit themselves into frameworks and unwritten laws of that same society or personal environment.

Anger has turned to sadness and in many cases they feel mega misunderstood. And therefore, they feel lonely because there seems to be no one with whom they can say their piece. No one who can communicate with them on a level they feel safe with. No one they really feel confident to be open and vulnerable with.

Fearful of the consequences from past experiences that almost seem to guarantee pain and rejection again in the near future.

Something has been hidden and tucked away

The sensitive part in them, the intuitive part in them, the soft and vulnerable part in them but also the spiritual part in them is hidden and tucked away deeply.

Above all, carry on and don't complain or whine. They have to earn a living, so they have to perform. There is no time or space, or no time and space is freed up, for what you really need. Everything is focused on doing, performing, fulfilling, proving, getting things done, knitting around, surviving, surfing the waves of emotions.

Real time for just being, relaxing, connecting with nature, free expression or creativity or the soft part in yourself is no longer there or you can't give it to yourself.

The heart of the bottleneck

Which brings me to the heart of the bottleneck with most of our retreat participants: a major imbalance between masculine and feminine energy. Huh, abracadabra talk?

No, let's keep it down to earth. Imagine that we carry within us an energy that prompts us to take action, if necessary. An energy that initiates, begets, does. An energy that can act like thunder. I sometimes use the Nike slogan to describe this energy: 'Just do it'. You recognize it in society: doing, performing, putting pressure, making money and more, proving, fighting, setting in motion, bracing your elbows, growing, more profit, power, manipulation, war even, political games.

This is the masculine energy in the world. In itself there is nothing wrong with it because male energy protects and also serves the interest of the collective. Male energy sets in motion, takes action, if necessary, builds communities. However, currently male energy has probably gone a bit overboard and has become what I described above: dominating, being the top dog at the expense of others, power, manipulation, fighting, war, destroying, grabbing at each other's expense. You probably recognize it.

This also plays out in many people on a personal level: No time for wining, get up and do you stuff, now! Working harder for the bills or even higher mortgage or the latest Tesla because we have something to prove. At the expense of others or the environment or nature? No problem. A steamroller on steroids is nothing like it.

Consequence? Disbalance.

We have so many choices. We have such idiotic expectations of ourselves and others. We review, judge, condemn anything and anyone out of step with the march of the standard goose step.

And yet... more and more participants in this rat race are falling out of the rickety boat of their existence.

Male energy is also the energy of the mind, the intellect. Everything needs to be scientifically based, rationally approachable and graspable. Quantifiable and verifiable and above all invulnerable.


The head & the heart are actually intimately 1 team.

The heart only sits on the reserve bench a little too often these days. Yearning to be allowed to drop in and play in the match of a lifetime. Especially to avoid the defeat of the soloistic head.

Because that head also contains the accompanying worries and problems resulting from the created situation. The befuddled head goes berserk. Runs aground. Mulls over the maze of dull and dull.

The solutions are in the heart, but it is not allowed to participate.

Without a connection between head and heart, you create worries in your head, while you have the perfect solutions in your heart. Your heart knows what is right or right for you. Which tactics could bring music back into your life.

However, if the 2 don't communicate, they don't find each other. Often don't want to find each other either. Or at least the head doesn't want to find the heart: too confrontational. Rather go on and on and on. Rather deny than showing true colors.

This leaves you a refugee in a world of obstacles.

You have, at great cost, boarded a rickety little boat in an attempt to escape your internal civil war between head and heart. Hoping that this little boat will take you to the promised land on the other side.

Only to be placed there and stay in an underpowered Soul Seekers' Centre of Life.

Waiting and once again yearning for the label or stamp of the `status holder'.

Meanwhile discovering that the hoped-for Golden Mountains on the other side, the promised land, are just molehills in the land of the Blinded & Binded

The non-connection of head and heart. Of heart and soul.

The opposite of masculine energy is, of course, feminine energy. Feminine energy represents softness, feeling, intuition, clear knowing. Also, for creating life, nurturing, attending to needs. Creation, inspiration. Mother Earth. On bare feet trudging through the grass.

Her slogan is: Just BE it. Just be it once. Go and be for once instead of acting like a lunatic.

Relax for once. Trust the flow of life that flows like energy flows through life. Attract life, don't fight it.

Heal, care, be, be gentle, connect with nature and become one with your inner nature.

Your feminine energy is begging for it.

Many people we work with have lost this connection. Are in a solid imbalance between male and female energy. Are tired of doing and yearning to be.

And don't allow themselves to.

Because they think (head) that this doesn't fit or can't be done or that they won't meet expectations, while the feeling (heart) softly whispers:

´love yourself for once, put yourself first, please´. Be nice to yourself for once. Really take care of yourself for once.

Like you would take care of your own little child that has fallen off his or her bike. Would you send them away with the message: 'don't cry, be strong and carry on'? Or do you take it on your lap, comfort it and provide pain relief?

Deal with yourself in the same way. Take your vulnerable, hurt, overburdened part figuratively in your lap. Be kind and comfort it and listen to what it needs, from you.

You can keep telling yourself that you must keep on going onnnn and onnn, that the bills must be paid, that your manager expects something more from you.

That your environment may continue to make an inexhaustible appeal to you, that you have to prove yourself, that your emotions and your body do not need to be heard.


You choose mildness, peace, trust, calmness, gratitude.

They sometimes say: ´love is letting go`. What then to let go of? Well, consider:

- Responsibility for the happiness of others

- Perfectionism, which is in fact a need to prove oneself for fear of failing to live up to expectations

- Addiction to stimuli; not being able to sit or be still

- Hypersensitivity: HSP is a popular term these days. But every person is born highly sensitive as a child. Nothing wrong with that. But only if you use this sensitivity to pick up signals of unhappiness in others and tell yourself that you must solve this unhappiness.

- Fears and worries that are often nothing more than a memory of an old experience and the fear or worry that it might be repeated in the future. Which doesn't happen most of the time.

- That which you structurally dislike doing or being in life.

- Pleasing

- Always saying YES to everything and everyone who appeals to you.

- Emotions: they are there, there is no denying that. What you can let go of is to take them so seriously and, from time to time, some objective distance from them. Observe them instead of absorbing them.

- Be busy with matters or issues that don't really matter. What is really important and also really urgent?

Let go of that grass you have been tugging at to make your lawn look greener than the neighbor’s.

You are pulling it to pieces. You are pulling yourself to pieces by continuing to tug at life, your natural grass. Let go!

Relax and choose for yourself. Trust and choose for yourself. Be grateful and choose for yourself. Surrender to the flow and choose for yourself.

Sometimes there is nothing to do and sometimes you just need to be there. For yourself.

You don't need to prove that you can or are something. You just are.

The world, society, your environment, you yourself. You need love and it does not come from the outside in but from within to the outside.

Dance, sing, splash, blob, dance in the mud, enjoy and see what you see: everything is connected. All energy affects each other. Everything reacts to each other. And instead of you reacting to everything, always lagging behind, you take charge. You determine the energy. The energy of love for everything and especially yourself. > Show yourself, stand up, walk in the right direction. Come back into balance. Go from doing to being. Move from fear to love. Unconditionally.

Do you remember me asking you this during your retreat: Are you prepared?
You still remember your answer and commitment?
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